Manners

While I have several gripes with my generation (and upcoming ones), I think the one that trumps them all is the complete and utter lack of manners, which also kind of falls under self-centric living. Maybe it has less to do with the generation and more to do with upbringing, but I swear! It is hard to find anyone my age that has any kind of grasp on occasionally thinking about someone other than themselves. On the road, most drivers think they are better than anyone else and always demand to skip lines or take the right of way. In restaurants, people are not ashamed to cut in line or encroach on your space if they feel their time is more important than yours. In social settings, especially ones hosted at houses, people have no compunction about treating the house with complete disregard. We are in these situations often and it is just a huge cluster of bad etiquette. People rarely RSVP because heaven forbid something more enticing come up before the event occurs. People show up late for dinner parties, and act disappointed that you did not wait. People eat at the table then just up and leave, with all their dishes left for someone else to clear. Oftentimes a spill occurs, and they make no effort to notify the host or try to clean it up on their own. I think our generation has been told one too many times, "Oh, make yourself at home!" that they just assume they can treat your house like their own. The fridge is rummaged through, furniture abused, assumptions made about how often and how long they can stay. In general, no one holds the door, no one lets you off an elevator of subway before shoving their way in.

Everyone assumes their time and their business is more important than anyone else's and it drives me crazy!! I'm not talking about the accidental flightiness that sometimes occurs, or the inevitable instances of glasses and bottles being left about the house after a large party. I'm talking about people who consistently and forcefully avoid any inconvenience to themselves at any cost, and most likely are completely unaware they are even doing it!

I'm sure I can also be found at fault from time to time, though I try so heartily to avoid it I cannot think of any examples. (isn't that how it is?! :) ) Perhaps it's because my parents raised me that way, and stressed often that they were trying to raise me that way, but I am very sensitive to these blunders and let it affect my friendships. Perhaps I shouldn't, but take advantage of me too many times, and rest assured I will start weighing if the friendship is worth all the inconvenience to me.

This may sound harsh, but I read the Miss Manners columns and I can almost always point to someone I know that is guilty of the same blunder - never saying thank-you, asking personal questions about money and family-planning, constantly using technology while out in public with real people, etc! I like to believe that our nation is not completely gone, but it seems this doesn't even rank with people as something to be concerned about. No one is taught to consider others before themselves, and it's turning us into horribly selfish and rude people. Granted, Americans can sometimes rally like no other - a family in trouble receives an outpouring of support, people will still sometimes hold doors, strangers occasionally treat the next in line while at a bakery, grocery shoppers let someone with less in their cart go ahead of them. Those instances move me because they seem to be so rare!

I can't judge too harshly, because God knows I have my own laundry lists of obnoxious faults, but I do like to think that I have made my parents proud by taking their lectures on manners to heart. Even when it's not reciprocated, I do try to still mind my manners in vain hopes that it will notice and catch on, even be passed forward.

I think the root of most evil in this world is people thinking most highly of themselves, and I believe this trend towards selfishness could definitely be the downfall of our still relatively good nation, and that just makes me sad.