Sorry it's been so silent on the blog front lately. The past few months have been a little hard on me, and I confess I have been unable to think of anything fun or happy to post about.
I have to keep in mind, however, that my life is not dismal. Hardly at all. I had a great summer with great friends, both my husband and I are gainfully employed, I live in a beautiful house that is holding up wonderfully, my family is well and healthy, and I have about everything I could ever ask for. I don't know why it is so easy to lose track of all the important things in life, but it is very easy for me to get bogged down in situations that I know can't and won't last forever. I know it's supposed to be a funny internet meme, but the phrase "first world problems" really does relate to about everything I concern myself with, and I have to continually repeat that to myself. Life on this earth is so short, so finite, which makes every phase in our life, good or bad, also finite. While I find myself dejected and hopeless right now, with no light at the end of the tunnel, there are so many better, happy things I could focus on. And just constantly remind myself, "This too shall pass."
Monday, October 10, 2011
Monday, August 15, 2011
New York, New York!
As I mentioned in my last blog post, Anthony's company just sent him to attend a Speech Technology conference in New York City this past weekend, and I decided to tag along. We left early Sunday morning on a train to start our 4 day "vacation."
Though rain was predicted for almost our whole trip, it ended up being sunny and hot for most of it. Sunday was spent just meandering around the city, through Central Park and along 5th Avenue. Central Park was way awesome! I expected it to just be trees and paths, but there was a lot going on. There was a concert, a very awesome playground, complete with fountains for the kids to splash in. We spent a lot of time in there, just sweating and enjoying the sites. :) We popped out of the park on 5th Ave, and I had been hoping to go in some of the glamorous shops, but apparently high fashion takes Sundays off. We did end up going into FAO Schwartz, which was way fun; we even saw a Big Piano show!
Monday started the conference for Anthony. After he got out, we went to the deli made famous by Meg Ryan in 'When Harry Met Sally.' We walked around the city some more, but the heat made it hard to actually commit to doing anything. We dined at Peter Luger's for dinner, a very highly rated steakhouse. The highlight of this meal was Anthony's Bacon Appetizer. For an appetizer, you can order a slice of bacon -- not just any bacon, this slice was probably a full half inch thick and as long as the plate it was served on! He was in heaven!
Tuesday was the day it finally rained. Happily, it was also Anthony's busiest day at the conference so I just holed up in the hotel until he was done. We darted out to see a movie before heading to Carmine's for dinner. Carmine's is another highly -rated restaurant, serving family style Italian food. Of course we ordered way too much food, but it was sooo good!
Wednesday was sunny again, and our last day to actually get stuff done. We started the day by heading over to the old WTC site. Ground Zero is no longer there/ visible as construction was under way for the memorial opening 9/11/2011, but there was a memorial site indoors nearby, with pictures and stories and artifacts from the attack. I had last been there just a few days before 9/11/01, and it was crazy to think that was a full 10 years ago. We saw several kids there that weren't even born when it happened, and it's just so sobering to remember where I was that day.
After that, we decided to pay the exorbitant fee to go up the Empire State Building. It was worth it, I think, and the views were crazy. It was a clear sunny day so I could see out to other states even! I can't say NYC is for me, though, seeing nothing but buildings and skyscrapers is just kind of sobering.
For dinner, we chose a diner that had singing waitstaff!! The waiters would take turns singing and dancing to oldies and show tunes, and they really hammed it up. It was a lot of fun to watch, though the food was definitely not as high-quality as all the restaurants Anthony had picked out. :)
After that, I packed up to board my late-night bus back to Boston while Anthony finished out one more day. All in all, it was a pretty good trip. The weather cooperated, even if it was a little hot some days, and that was my first time in NYC during the summer, so it was fun to really walk around and enjoy what the city had to offer. Between that and our San Francisco trip and some houseguests, I am definitely looking forward to getting back to our routine life for awhile though!
Though rain was predicted for almost our whole trip, it ended up being sunny and hot for most of it. Sunday was spent just meandering around the city, through Central Park and along 5th Avenue. Central Park was way awesome! I expected it to just be trees and paths, but there was a lot going on. There was a concert, a very awesome playground, complete with fountains for the kids to splash in. We spent a lot of time in there, just sweating and enjoying the sites. :) We popped out of the park on 5th Ave, and I had been hoping to go in some of the glamorous shops, but apparently high fashion takes Sundays off. We did end up going into FAO Schwartz, which was way fun; we even saw a Big Piano show!
Monday started the conference for Anthony. After he got out, we went to the deli made famous by Meg Ryan in 'When Harry Met Sally.' We walked around the city some more, but the heat made it hard to actually commit to doing anything. We dined at Peter Luger's for dinner, a very highly rated steakhouse. The highlight of this meal was Anthony's Bacon Appetizer. For an appetizer, you can order a slice of bacon -- not just any bacon, this slice was probably a full half inch thick and as long as the plate it was served on! He was in heaven!
Tuesday was the day it finally rained. Happily, it was also Anthony's busiest day at the conference so I just holed up in the hotel until he was done. We darted out to see a movie before heading to Carmine's for dinner. Carmine's is another highly -rated restaurant, serving family style Italian food. Of course we ordered way too much food, but it was sooo good!
Wednesday was sunny again, and our last day to actually get stuff done. We started the day by heading over to the old WTC site. Ground Zero is no longer there/ visible as construction was under way for the memorial opening 9/11/2011, but there was a memorial site indoors nearby, with pictures and stories and artifacts from the attack. I had last been there just a few days before 9/11/01, and it was crazy to think that was a full 10 years ago. We saw several kids there that weren't even born when it happened, and it's just so sobering to remember where I was that day.
After that, we decided to pay the exorbitant fee to go up the Empire State Building. It was worth it, I think, and the views were crazy. It was a clear sunny day so I could see out to other states even! I can't say NYC is for me, though, seeing nothing but buildings and skyscrapers is just kind of sobering.
For dinner, we chose a diner that had singing waitstaff!! The waiters would take turns singing and dancing to oldies and show tunes, and they really hammed it up. It was a lot of fun to watch, though the food was definitely not as high-quality as all the restaurants Anthony had picked out. :)
After that, I packed up to board my late-night bus back to Boston while Anthony finished out one more day. All in all, it was a pretty good trip. The weather cooperated, even if it was a little hot some days, and that was my first time in NYC during the summer, so it was fun to really walk around and enjoy what the city had to offer. Between that and our San Francisco trip and some houseguests, I am definitely looking forward to getting back to our routine life for awhile though!
Friday, August 5, 2011
August Already??!!
My my, I say this every year, but summer goes by waaay too fast!!! I think it mostly feels that way because only June-August are warm months, and the other 9 months are much less reliable! I wish May-September had more consistent weather, I think that would help the summer feel longer. Anyway, this summer has been absolutely glorious apart from that!
Friends: Anthony's best friends from college (Jeremy & Emily) finally moved back to Massachusetts last year, and we have spent a lot of time with them this year. It's really great for me to be able to get to know some of Anthony's favorite buddies, for several reasons, but especially because their house came with a glorious heated gunite pool! Every free weekend, we've been invited over there to spend Saturday grilling, swimming, tanning, playing badminton and Catan...It's been heaven! I always have a hard time finding enough stuff to do in the outdoors during the summer and not just staying inside, and swimming is the best way to do it!
Family: Between those glorious swimming weekends, we've been seeing our family. Anthony's mom has already come up twice this summer to spend a weekend with us. My parents spent a good chunk of July in Salt Lake (with my brother, my sis-in-law, and my niece and nephew), but we've gone out a few times, including a super fun trip mini-golfing (where I won, which *never* happens) and a bowling trip (where I lost so profoundly it was a little bit absurd).
Blockbusters: Of course, we also went to see *the* summer movie: Harry Potter, the finale. I never really got into those movies, so I was glad they were finally over and I could stop sitting through the massively long and epic stories. :) I am much more excited about *my* summer blockbuster: Glee, The Concert!! I have tried for the past 2 years to get tickets to see the real thing and have been unsuccessful, so a movie of it will have to be the next best thing! :)
Vacations: This weekend, we'll be leaving for another business trip of Anthony's. We went to San Francisco (see facebook for pics and stories) at the end of June for one, and this one is to NYC. The hotel is in the heart of Times Square, so hopefully it'll be easy for me to walk around the city by myself while Anthony is busy with his conference. Since SF was so cold, I was looking forward to NYC being warmer, and it looks like it will be. However, rain is predicted for 3 of the 4 days I'll be there, so boo :( Stay tuned to see if the weather cooperates this time!
Hope y'all are having an equally exciting summer and enjoying the sunshine!!
Friends: Anthony's best friends from college (Jeremy & Emily) finally moved back to Massachusetts last year, and we have spent a lot of time with them this year. It's really great for me to be able to get to know some of Anthony's favorite buddies, for several reasons, but especially because their house came with a glorious heated gunite pool! Every free weekend, we've been invited over there to spend Saturday grilling, swimming, tanning, playing badminton and Catan...It's been heaven! I always have a hard time finding enough stuff to do in the outdoors during the summer and not just staying inside, and swimming is the best way to do it!
Family: Between those glorious swimming weekends, we've been seeing our family. Anthony's mom has already come up twice this summer to spend a weekend with us. My parents spent a good chunk of July in Salt Lake (with my brother, my sis-in-law, and my niece and nephew), but we've gone out a few times, including a super fun trip mini-golfing (where I won, which *never* happens) and a bowling trip (where I lost so profoundly it was a little bit absurd).
Blockbusters: Of course, we also went to see *the* summer movie: Harry Potter, the finale. I never really got into those movies, so I was glad they were finally over and I could stop sitting through the massively long and epic stories. :) I am much more excited about *my* summer blockbuster: Glee, The Concert!! I have tried for the past 2 years to get tickets to see the real thing and have been unsuccessful, so a movie of it will have to be the next best thing! :)
Vacations: This weekend, we'll be leaving for another business trip of Anthony's. We went to San Francisco (see facebook for pics and stories) at the end of June for one, and this one is to NYC. The hotel is in the heart of Times Square, so hopefully it'll be easy for me to walk around the city by myself while Anthony is busy with his conference. Since SF was so cold, I was looking forward to NYC being warmer, and it looks like it will be. However, rain is predicted for 3 of the 4 days I'll be there, so boo :( Stay tuned to see if the weather cooperates this time!
Hope y'all are having an equally exciting summer and enjoying the sunshine!!
Friday, July 15, 2011
Show Your Support!!
I have blogged about an actress friend of mine before, but here's a quick recap...this girl and I go way back to elementary school, and have stayed in touch over the years. She had a lucrative job in marketing, but always felt called to perform. She finally took a leap of faith, moved to LA, took acting classes, and currently goes on auditions. She is intent on staying true to her Christian beliefs, though she realizes that might cost her in that industry. In fact, she has already turned down a movie role that required her to do something she was not comfortable with. She has landed other small roles, but most recently was just offered a speaking role in a feature film!!! Unfortunately, the role requires her to join the Screen Actors Guild, but the dues are no chump change. Interestingly, she had just blogged about financial support for those going into strictly ministry-driven fields, but points out that the artists that help shape America's views are left out. She brings up a few good points, and I suggest you read that post at http://www.soundslikecon.com/archives/485.
Perhaps she knew what she was up against when she wrote that blog, but it was perfectly timed for when she would need to shell out SAG dues. She bemoaned her fate of trying to save enough money on facebook, and immediately friends clamored for some way to help her out. Upon their request and outpouring of support, she humbly set up a site to collect donations. I have already donated, partly because she makes good points in her recent blog post, partly because I remember starting a new career and feeling broke all the time, partly because I want to see her succeed so I can watch her movie and feel like I helped her make her dreams come true, and a lot because I am equal parts envious and proud that she had the guts to jump off the path her life was on to brave the career she felt born to do.
So, if you believe in what she's doing or want to just support a friend, I encourage you to donate even a tiny amount at https://www.wepay.com/donate/35489?ref=widget&utm_medium=widget&utm_campaign=donation.
Perhaps she knew what she was up against when she wrote that blog, but it was perfectly timed for when she would need to shell out SAG dues. She bemoaned her fate of trying to save enough money on facebook, and immediately friends clamored for some way to help her out. Upon their request and outpouring of support, she humbly set up a site to collect donations. I have already donated, partly because she makes good points in her recent blog post, partly because I remember starting a new career and feeling broke all the time, partly because I want to see her succeed so I can watch her movie and feel like I helped her make her dreams come true, and a lot because I am equal parts envious and proud that she had the guts to jump off the path her life was on to brave the career she felt born to do.
So, if you believe in what she's doing or want to just support a friend, I encourage you to donate even a tiny amount at https://www.wepay.com/donate/35489?ref=widget&utm_medium=widget&utm_campaign=donation.
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
The Big 3-0!
As anyone who knows me knows, I am pretty petrified of this looming milestone birthday. (Full disclosure: I was pretty nervous about turning 25 as well as I was convinced it was all downhill from there.) As I enter the last week of my 20’s, I find myself trying to put this fear into words. If age is only a number, and if you are only as old as you feel, then why do those two numbers put together throw me for such a loop? And I think I figured it out…
My issue stems from societal pressures and expectations. See, I am young at heart. Very much so. Sure, I have a relatively solid career and a beautiful house with a mortgage and a husband of nearly 4 years, so I am definitely a mature and responsible member of society. I pay bills, I work hard, I keep my house and life organized and uncluttered. But at the core of my being is a young girl who still delights in all the things that made her happy twenty years ago. And though I will argue vehemently that there is nothing wrong with that, I am still plagued by doubts and insecurities that something might be wrong with me.
But here are my arguments regardless. There are things that are just fun in life, that hearken back to days where the biggest concern in your life was finding the best possible hiding spot in hide-and-seek. Things like an ice cream truck’s tinny melody – what kind of person can hear that bell and not smile a tiny smile thinking of the days where you’d beg your parents for a couple quarters, then revel in the sticky sweetness of a melting popsicle on a sweltering summer day? Or finding a really good playground with new swings or a really high slide or the little zipline pull. I dare any of my readers to go swing for 5 minutes and see if you aren’t immediately cheered up. Or fun toys that we are “too old” to play with, like razor scooters and pogo sticks and trampolines. Or the pure simple elation of going barefoot for the first time each year, the soft grass squishing between your toes, with (ideally) an ice cream cone in hand as well. Or the delight in cannonballing into a refreshing pool on a sunny day. Or the chocolately goodness of a patiently-crafted s’more. Or the excitement leading up to a relaxing vacation, finding all your best outfits and swimsuits, and eagerly packing activities for a plane ride. Or the joy in roadtrips, stopping at all the worst fast food places and talking over anything and everything that comes to mind with your passenger. Or the pride when you get a good review at work, bringing you back to the days when you couldn’t wait to show off a really good report card to your mom and dad. Or the joyfulness found in painting your nails bizarre and bold colors, perhaps even not painting them all the same bizarre color – what girl among us can look down at rainbow-colored toenails and not feel a little silly and a lot happy? Or the thrill of waddling out into a huge blizzard, bundled in your warmest clothes, and throwing snowballs or making snow angels or sledding down a giant hill. Or the memories that come flooding back on Halloween, when tiny children race up your stairs in their elaborate costumes and beg for candy. Or the fun in seeing a birthday cake with your name on it, making a wish you know won’t come true, and blowing the candles out anyway. Or the pleasure in playing the tunnel game, holding your breath when your car enters a tunnel, and successfully not breathing again until you have reached the tunnel’s end. Or the hilarity in a really good, intense, belly-rocking tickle fight.
These are all things I enjoy immensely, and they make me happy every single time. A really good movie or a really good dessert light up my day, and remind me that life is fleeting and simple and should be enjoyed every minute of every day. As time races by faster and faster, I am always striving to slow down and not get caught up in a bad day or bad circumstance. Everything passes, everything, the good and the bad. But there are so many tiny good things in life, so many simple pleasures, so many ways to “stop and smell the roses.” You can call me simple or immature or small-minded, but why not reach out and experience these little joys, however ridiculous. Sure, you’re probably going to be the only grown-up standing at the ice cream truck’s window, but who cares? When you’re licking your goofy panda face or rainbow rocket and enjoying the sun in your face, what are the other grown-ups doing? Probably stealing a lick from their kids’ treat and wishing they had their own! There is nothing wrong with deriving pleasure from small trivial things.
So, in my goofy excitement about life’s small joys, I sometimes feel judged when around other people. As a 29 year old girl who still likes the ice cream truck, I feel it will only get harder as I age. I feel like being in your 20’s still gives you some leeway, some slack for maybe not being fully matured. But in your 30’s, I feel the pressure to be a grown-up with grown-up tastes, like climbing the corporate ladder or childbirth and babies. Maybe it won’t be any different when I’m 30, but it’s the 30’s as a whole that seem so looming, so depressing. After that comes your 40’s and 50’s, and I don’t know, I’m just not done being a kid yet!
So, we’ll see how I do adjusting to being a 30-year-old. I hear it’s not too bad from all my friends, but I don’t know, I remain dubious! :)
Update: I wrote this blog before my actual birthday, and between writing it and posting it, I ran across something that actually supports my viewpoint. I was waiting in line at the grocery store over the weekend, reading magazine covers, and Cosmo boasted this headline: "50 Things You Never Should Have Stopped Doing." Curiosity overtook me, and I flipped to the article, and grinned a goofy grin. I don't remember all the points now, but they were along the same lines as my post above, things like "wear a party hat all night during a birthday party" and "have sleepovers and lip sync to your old favorites." I know it's just Cosmo, but I was glad to see someone else, anyone else, supporting my "there's nothing wrong with indulging in nostalgia and utter goofiness every so often" viewpoint. :)
My issue stems from societal pressures and expectations. See, I am young at heart. Very much so. Sure, I have a relatively solid career and a beautiful house with a mortgage and a husband of nearly 4 years, so I am definitely a mature and responsible member of society. I pay bills, I work hard, I keep my house and life organized and uncluttered. But at the core of my being is a young girl who still delights in all the things that made her happy twenty years ago. And though I will argue vehemently that there is nothing wrong with that, I am still plagued by doubts and insecurities that something might be wrong with me.
But here are my arguments regardless. There are things that are just fun in life, that hearken back to days where the biggest concern in your life was finding the best possible hiding spot in hide-and-seek. Things like an ice cream truck’s tinny melody – what kind of person can hear that bell and not smile a tiny smile thinking of the days where you’d beg your parents for a couple quarters, then revel in the sticky sweetness of a melting popsicle on a sweltering summer day? Or finding a really good playground with new swings or a really high slide or the little zipline pull. I dare any of my readers to go swing for 5 minutes and see if you aren’t immediately cheered up. Or fun toys that we are “too old” to play with, like razor scooters and pogo sticks and trampolines. Or the pure simple elation of going barefoot for the first time each year, the soft grass squishing between your toes, with (ideally) an ice cream cone in hand as well. Or the delight in cannonballing into a refreshing pool on a sunny day. Or the chocolately goodness of a patiently-crafted s’more. Or the excitement leading up to a relaxing vacation, finding all your best outfits and swimsuits, and eagerly packing activities for a plane ride. Or the joy in roadtrips, stopping at all the worst fast food places and talking over anything and everything that comes to mind with your passenger. Or the pride when you get a good review at work, bringing you back to the days when you couldn’t wait to show off a really good report card to your mom and dad. Or the joyfulness found in painting your nails bizarre and bold colors, perhaps even not painting them all the same bizarre color – what girl among us can look down at rainbow-colored toenails and not feel a little silly and a lot happy? Or the thrill of waddling out into a huge blizzard, bundled in your warmest clothes, and throwing snowballs or making snow angels or sledding down a giant hill. Or the memories that come flooding back on Halloween, when tiny children race up your stairs in their elaborate costumes and beg for candy. Or the fun in seeing a birthday cake with your name on it, making a wish you know won’t come true, and blowing the candles out anyway. Or the pleasure in playing the tunnel game, holding your breath when your car enters a tunnel, and successfully not breathing again until you have reached the tunnel’s end. Or the hilarity in a really good, intense, belly-rocking tickle fight.
These are all things I enjoy immensely, and they make me happy every single time. A really good movie or a really good dessert light up my day, and remind me that life is fleeting and simple and should be enjoyed every minute of every day. As time races by faster and faster, I am always striving to slow down and not get caught up in a bad day or bad circumstance. Everything passes, everything, the good and the bad. But there are so many tiny good things in life, so many simple pleasures, so many ways to “stop and smell the roses.” You can call me simple or immature or small-minded, but why not reach out and experience these little joys, however ridiculous. Sure, you’re probably going to be the only grown-up standing at the ice cream truck’s window, but who cares? When you’re licking your goofy panda face or rainbow rocket and enjoying the sun in your face, what are the other grown-ups doing? Probably stealing a lick from their kids’ treat and wishing they had their own! There is nothing wrong with deriving pleasure from small trivial things.
So, in my goofy excitement about life’s small joys, I sometimes feel judged when around other people. As a 29 year old girl who still likes the ice cream truck, I feel it will only get harder as I age. I feel like being in your 20’s still gives you some leeway, some slack for maybe not being fully matured. But in your 30’s, I feel the pressure to be a grown-up with grown-up tastes, like climbing the corporate ladder or childbirth and babies. Maybe it won’t be any different when I’m 30, but it’s the 30’s as a whole that seem so looming, so depressing. After that comes your 40’s and 50’s, and I don’t know, I’m just not done being a kid yet!
So, we’ll see how I do adjusting to being a 30-year-old. I hear it’s not too bad from all my friends, but I don’t know, I remain dubious! :)
Update: I wrote this blog before my actual birthday, and between writing it and posting it, I ran across something that actually supports my viewpoint. I was waiting in line at the grocery store over the weekend, reading magazine covers, and Cosmo boasted this headline: "50 Things You Never Should Have Stopped Doing." Curiosity overtook me, and I flipped to the article, and grinned a goofy grin. I don't remember all the points now, but they were along the same lines as my post above, things like "wear a party hat all night during a birthday party" and "have sleepovers and lip sync to your old favorites." I know it's just Cosmo, but I was glad to see someone else, anyone else, supporting my "there's nothing wrong with indulging in nostalgia and utter goofiness every so often" viewpoint. :)
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
Gripe of the Month
Etiquette. A lot of people seem to think that is an outdated notion, harking back to the days where men were always the breadwinners and women the fairer, weaker sex. Back to when men stood up whenever a woman came to or left the dinner table. Back to when women had no rights, and securing a husband was the only acceptable goal in life. But etiquette is not just old-fashioned notions of hiding all your feelings under generous servings of politeness and adhering to societal pressures against your will. I hate to do it because I hated it so when it was happening, but I have to credit my parents for raising me to respect manners and try to act in the proper way in any situation. And I like to think I do ok, but I've said it before, and I'll say it again. America's manners are in the crapper. I consider that a fact, not a matter of opinion. So here it how it relates to me...
We built a house last year. Yes, we are very lucky to own a house at such a young age in this economy. Yes, we're even luckier that our first house was new and custom-built for us. And yes, we scraped and saved and went without for a couple years saving up for a good down payment. And yes, the year after we bought the house was rough, still saving every penny to buy the necessary furniture for the house and paying off some of the bills. We know we're lucky and we appreciate it, but yeah, we had to be very financially resourceful and responsible to get it. We knew what we wanted and we worked towards that goal. Though the house was *very* attractively priced for a new construction in these parts, it was not just given to us. So as it happens, partly because of our age and marital status, we tend to have the best living situation of many of our friends. I also am a tad bit OCD, so the house is normally well cared-for and relatively spotless. So, those are the facts. We have a beautiful, custom house that is clean and hospitable, and we very much enjoy entertaining in it, having friends over, making our guest rooms available, sharing what we can. We never boast or brag about what we have, we never talk condescendingly about our friends who live in apartments, we never draw attention to any mess we see in someone else's house, and we never insist on hosting all parties at our house because it's the "best" or "nicest" or anything. We understand that not everyone has dual incomes to help pay for a house, not everyone wants a house at this age, not everyone wants to live in the suburbs, and not everyone has my standards of cleanliness. Of all the things I am tempted to judge people about, those are not high on my list.
But for whatever reason, it seems everyone else we know seems to think it's open season on our house and our lifestyle. I cannot tell you the last time we had a guest over that walked in, said nothing about the house or even said something polite like "oh, this is a nice place." That just doesn't happen. Apparently, in this day and age, we're allowed to say whatever we want, whenever we want, to whomever we want. I'm sorry, but I think it is absolutely appalling manners to walk in and just start criticizing everything in sight. I don't care if that's not the sink you would have chosen, or appliances, or flooring, or landscaping, or showers or whatever. I don't care if you think a laundry room is a waste of space or bedrooms should only be big enough to fit a bed and dresser. I don't care if you think I have too many shoes, or don't like my shower curtain. Why is it ok to walk in and announce those things, jokingly or not? And I really, really, really, really, really don't care if you think wiping down the kitchen counters every night or having a clean bathroom is a waste of time. I didn't make you pay for the house, and I don't ask to you to clean it, so you don't really get a say. You can think whatever you want, by all means. I'm just saying it is NOT OK to speak your mind when you have nothing nice to say. For most of my friends, I think their use of money is a little irresponsible. I think they go out to eat 2-3 times a day, they don't shop for bargains, whatever, but I certainly don't criticize their tiny apartments because I think they can afford better if they tried. And I certainly would never walk into a friend's house and say something like "Wow, ever heard of a duster?!?" As long as it's within non-hazardous range, I assume people are living in the place they want in a living style that is comfortable for them. So why is it ok to spout off on the opposite?! If you don't like my house or my cleaning style, don't always hang out at my house!!!!!!! I feel I go out of my way to make my guests feel comfortable, I am sure to have plenty of food and beverage around, I make the guest beds and put out clean towels, I don't follow people around with a vacuum or wipe, and as long as they're not pouring red dye all over my carpet, I keep my mouth shut about any incidental messes and just pick up when everyone is gone. I don't know when it became acceptable to try to force your opinions and lifestyle on others!!!
We do have friends that live in a much bigger house, with a much bigger yard, a gorgeous pool, and many other perks! Yeah, I would also like to have a pool, and dogs, and two stairways leading up to the master suite, and a walk-in-closet as big as my bathroom. I also wouldn't mind being a housewife so I could really keep up with the cleaning. But that's not where we are in life, and I don't begrudge our friends their "mansion" or living conditions. I "ooh and ahh" over the parts I like and express admiration for their abode and lifestyle. It is not my place to be jealous or judge the choices they made to get them there.
It actually reminds me a lot of religion in this day and age. Tolerance is trumpeted from the highest towers, and all religions and beliefs are to be fully accepted. A person is allowed to worship their own armpit hair, and heaven help the person who dares speak up or mock them for it. EXCEPT!!! for Christianity. Maybe it has gotten a bad rap over the decades, but whatever. Just because you worry a religion that excludes you is dangerous doesn't mean it does not fall under the same tolerance umbrella. So, you may be jealous of my house, you may have different priorities than keeping your house spotless at all times, whatever...I can't speak up against your mess or tiny apartment, so you don't get to speak up about mine.
This turned into a very long rant, but I'm just sick of it. It has gotten so bad that we have pretty much stopped having people over or hosting parties, and that saddens me since we built the house with that express purpose in mind. And the people that criticize are people that ask to have parties there, ask to come over, ask to spend the night!! So if they like it enough to want to be there, where does all the hate come from?!? And I know we can be blind to our weaknesses and flaws, but I know I'm OCD and I go overboard not enforcing my views on others. Seriously, it would be one thing if I followed people around cleaning up after them or asked people to wash their own dishes. Or if I asked people to chip in or donate for the cost of using our house for a party. But as long as we're paying for the house and doing the upkeep, I don't see how anyone else gets a vote.
In rereading this for errors, I hear how harsh this sounds. So a clarification... I love having people over to my house, family, friends, acquaintances. I enjoy when people express pleasure about some design choice we made, or think our guest sink is hilarious. And if you're a really good friend, you can make a joke about how I still have a stuffed Piglet on the bed (though you will be subjected to the sentimental reasons why). Or how it took us an embarrassingly long time to hang up curtains. I am talking about inappropriate and not well-meaning comments, clearly spouted off out of spite or perhaps jealousy. I actually feel really bad when I find out later people were not comfortable at my house for whatever reason, so it pains me when people do not feel welcome or make disparaging comments about the house. I live for my friends and family, and it makes me cry when they come to my home and criticize everything I worked so hard for.
We built a house last year. Yes, we are very lucky to own a house at such a young age in this economy. Yes, we're even luckier that our first house was new and custom-built for us. And yes, we scraped and saved and went without for a couple years saving up for a good down payment. And yes, the year after we bought the house was rough, still saving every penny to buy the necessary furniture for the house and paying off some of the bills. We know we're lucky and we appreciate it, but yeah, we had to be very financially resourceful and responsible to get it. We knew what we wanted and we worked towards that goal. Though the house was *very* attractively priced for a new construction in these parts, it was not just given to us. So as it happens, partly because of our age and marital status, we tend to have the best living situation of many of our friends. I also am a tad bit OCD, so the house is normally well cared-for and relatively spotless. So, those are the facts. We have a beautiful, custom house that is clean and hospitable, and we very much enjoy entertaining in it, having friends over, making our guest rooms available, sharing what we can. We never boast or brag about what we have, we never talk condescendingly about our friends who live in apartments, we never draw attention to any mess we see in someone else's house, and we never insist on hosting all parties at our house because it's the "best" or "nicest" or anything. We understand that not everyone has dual incomes to help pay for a house, not everyone wants a house at this age, not everyone wants to live in the suburbs, and not everyone has my standards of cleanliness. Of all the things I am tempted to judge people about, those are not high on my list.
But for whatever reason, it seems everyone else we know seems to think it's open season on our house and our lifestyle. I cannot tell you the last time we had a guest over that walked in, said nothing about the house or even said something polite like "oh, this is a nice place." That just doesn't happen. Apparently, in this day and age, we're allowed to say whatever we want, whenever we want, to whomever we want. I'm sorry, but I think it is absolutely appalling manners to walk in and just start criticizing everything in sight. I don't care if that's not the sink you would have chosen, or appliances, or flooring, or landscaping, or showers or whatever. I don't care if you think a laundry room is a waste of space or bedrooms should only be big enough to fit a bed and dresser. I don't care if you think I have too many shoes, or don't like my shower curtain. Why is it ok to walk in and announce those things, jokingly or not? And I really, really, really, really, really don't care if you think wiping down the kitchen counters every night or having a clean bathroom is a waste of time. I didn't make you pay for the house, and I don't ask to you to clean it, so you don't really get a say. You can think whatever you want, by all means. I'm just saying it is NOT OK to speak your mind when you have nothing nice to say. For most of my friends, I think their use of money is a little irresponsible. I think they go out to eat 2-3 times a day, they don't shop for bargains, whatever, but I certainly don't criticize their tiny apartments because I think they can afford better if they tried. And I certainly would never walk into a friend's house and say something like "Wow, ever heard of a duster?!?" As long as it's within non-hazardous range, I assume people are living in the place they want in a living style that is comfortable for them. So why is it ok to spout off on the opposite?! If you don't like my house or my cleaning style, don't always hang out at my house!!!!!!! I feel I go out of my way to make my guests feel comfortable, I am sure to have plenty of food and beverage around, I make the guest beds and put out clean towels, I don't follow people around with a vacuum or wipe, and as long as they're not pouring red dye all over my carpet, I keep my mouth shut about any incidental messes and just pick up when everyone is gone. I don't know when it became acceptable to try to force your opinions and lifestyle on others!!!
We do have friends that live in a much bigger house, with a much bigger yard, a gorgeous pool, and many other perks! Yeah, I would also like to have a pool, and dogs, and two stairways leading up to the master suite, and a walk-in-closet as big as my bathroom. I also wouldn't mind being a housewife so I could really keep up with the cleaning. But that's not where we are in life, and I don't begrudge our friends their "mansion" or living conditions. I "ooh and ahh" over the parts I like and express admiration for their abode and lifestyle. It is not my place to be jealous or judge the choices they made to get them there.
It actually reminds me a lot of religion in this day and age. Tolerance is trumpeted from the highest towers, and all religions and beliefs are to be fully accepted. A person is allowed to worship their own armpit hair, and heaven help the person who dares speak up or mock them for it. EXCEPT!!! for Christianity. Maybe it has gotten a bad rap over the decades, but whatever. Just because you worry a religion that excludes you is dangerous doesn't mean it does not fall under the same tolerance umbrella. So, you may be jealous of my house, you may have different priorities than keeping your house spotless at all times, whatever...I can't speak up against your mess or tiny apartment, so you don't get to speak up about mine.
This turned into a very long rant, but I'm just sick of it. It has gotten so bad that we have pretty much stopped having people over or hosting parties, and that saddens me since we built the house with that express purpose in mind. And the people that criticize are people that ask to have parties there, ask to come over, ask to spend the night!! So if they like it enough to want to be there, where does all the hate come from?!? And I know we can be blind to our weaknesses and flaws, but I know I'm OCD and I go overboard not enforcing my views on others. Seriously, it would be one thing if I followed people around cleaning up after them or asked people to wash their own dishes. Or if I asked people to chip in or donate for the cost of using our house for a party. But as long as we're paying for the house and doing the upkeep, I don't see how anyone else gets a vote.
In rereading this for errors, I hear how harsh this sounds. So a clarification... I love having people over to my house, family, friends, acquaintances. I enjoy when people express pleasure about some design choice we made, or think our guest sink is hilarious. And if you're a really good friend, you can make a joke about how I still have a stuffed Piglet on the bed (though you will be subjected to the sentimental reasons why). Or how it took us an embarrassingly long time to hang up curtains. I am talking about inappropriate and not well-meaning comments, clearly spouted off out of spite or perhaps jealousy. I actually feel really bad when I find out later people were not comfortable at my house for whatever reason, so it pains me when people do not feel welcome or make disparaging comments about the house. I live for my friends and family, and it makes me cry when they come to my home and criticize everything I worked so hard for.
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
Spring Time!
Wow, I just noticed this blog really got away from me last month!! I apologize! I don't have anything super important on my mind, so here's just some quick glimpses of my life since last time I posted...
Friends: My favorite cousin was in town last month for a few weeks, and I got to go out with her and some old college buddies and have a blast like the good ole days! I have missed Tanya since she moved to Canada to be with her husband, but I am very glad they are returning to the US soon!
We also saw the newest Pirates 4 movie with some other friends, and I was sorely disappointed. I know 2 and 3 got a bad rap, but I re-watched them in preparation and I didn't think they were too awful, still a lot of "Jack-ness" to them, that I feel #4 kind of lacked. And there were 2 plot lines in #4 that were completely irrelevant and helped make the movie just a bit too long. Hopefully they're done after this one!
Also, we got to spend a lot of time with our good friends lately, who have a s'more pit and beautiful pool! They were nice enough to let us play with them over Memorial Day weekend and I always come home desperately wanting a pool myself!! :/ I can dream... :)
Family: We spent Mother's Day at my parent's house and had a really good run of game playing, which is how she likes to celebrate any special occasion. It's nice to have them close enough to see them on special days.
Anthony's mom came up just last weekend to celebrate her birthday by getting away from work. We did some sightseeing in Newburyport (gorgeous old NE town on a port) and had a blast! She also likes gardening, so she helped us pick out and plant several flowers around our yard. It feels like such a grown-up thing to do and I'm glad we had her around for advice!
Church: Anthony and I have been attending an evangelical church about 30 minutes away, and we don't always like the drive or the huge-ness of the church. Mega-churches are not our favorite kind, as it can be hard to get plugged in. Happily, they opened another smaller "campus" about 10 minutes from our house and literally across the street from our last apartment. We were able to check it out last Sunday with Anthony's mom and my parents and it seems really great! I'm very excited about the possibility of making that our new home, though their latest service is 11am. :)
Upcoming News: Anthony has been asked to go on 2 business trips this summer, including one this month to San Francisco. There is a "Hackathon" Friday-Saturday (6/24-25) and it will be attended by software developers trying to push out 100 new apps. It is literally a -thon, running from early Friday morning straight through to Saturday afternoon!! I don't know how he'll stay awake for it all, but I wish him luck! :) Anyway, I believe myself to be in love with San Francisco, and I think it is my true home. I desperately want to live there someday, so of course I insisted on tagging along for this trip! We'll stay for a few days after and do some vacationing and sight-seeing. We have not been on a real vacation since our 1 year anniversary, so I am stoked about this trip! We're still looking into what we want to prioritize while there, but so far there has been mention of Alcatraz, the famous windy road, maybe the Pacific Coast Highway, and of course some beach time!
Weather (yes, really :) ): This spring has been a little sad, going straight from 50 degree sweater weather to a sweltering 95 degrees today, but I've been trying to get out and about and enjoy the spring days when they happen! We lucked out with Memorial Day and the weekend my MIL was here being sunny and in the 70's. I'm keeping my fingers crossed for great weather (read: no rain) when we get to San Fran!
So, that's what's new in my world. And of course, the dragging of the figurative feet as my 30th birthday looms in the next month (7/11). I am freaking out about it quite a bit, though I can't be sure why it bugs me so much. I love my husband and my house, my career is at an acceptable level, and I feel like I am enjoying life. But something about the 30's just sounds all very downhill. I know, I know, you're only as old as you feel, and 30's are the new 20's, blah blah blah. But I had a pretty great 20's and I miss the spring in my step and the lack of responsibilities and societal expectations. *sigh* First world problems, I know :)
Til next time! :)
Friends: My favorite cousin was in town last month for a few weeks, and I got to go out with her and some old college buddies and have a blast like the good ole days! I have missed Tanya since she moved to Canada to be with her husband, but I am very glad they are returning to the US soon!
We also saw the newest Pirates 4 movie with some other friends, and I was sorely disappointed. I know 2 and 3 got a bad rap, but I re-watched them in preparation and I didn't think they were too awful, still a lot of "Jack-ness" to them, that I feel #4 kind of lacked. And there were 2 plot lines in #4 that were completely irrelevant and helped make the movie just a bit too long. Hopefully they're done after this one!
Also, we got to spend a lot of time with our good friends lately, who have a s'more pit and beautiful pool! They were nice enough to let us play with them over Memorial Day weekend and I always come home desperately wanting a pool myself!! :/ I can dream... :)
Family: We spent Mother's Day at my parent's house and had a really good run of game playing, which is how she likes to celebrate any special occasion. It's nice to have them close enough to see them on special days.
Anthony's mom came up just last weekend to celebrate her birthday by getting away from work. We did some sightseeing in Newburyport (gorgeous old NE town on a port) and had a blast! She also likes gardening, so she helped us pick out and plant several flowers around our yard. It feels like such a grown-up thing to do and I'm glad we had her around for advice!
Church: Anthony and I have been attending an evangelical church about 30 minutes away, and we don't always like the drive or the huge-ness of the church. Mega-churches are not our favorite kind, as it can be hard to get plugged in. Happily, they opened another smaller "campus" about 10 minutes from our house and literally across the street from our last apartment. We were able to check it out last Sunday with Anthony's mom and my parents and it seems really great! I'm very excited about the possibility of making that our new home, though their latest service is 11am. :)
Upcoming News: Anthony has been asked to go on 2 business trips this summer, including one this month to San Francisco. There is a "Hackathon" Friday-Saturday (6/24-25) and it will be attended by software developers trying to push out 100 new apps. It is literally a -thon, running from early Friday morning straight through to Saturday afternoon!! I don't know how he'll stay awake for it all, but I wish him luck! :) Anyway, I believe myself to be in love with San Francisco, and I think it is my true home. I desperately want to live there someday, so of course I insisted on tagging along for this trip! We'll stay for a few days after and do some vacationing and sight-seeing. We have not been on a real vacation since our 1 year anniversary, so I am stoked about this trip! We're still looking into what we want to prioritize while there, but so far there has been mention of Alcatraz, the famous windy road, maybe the Pacific Coast Highway, and of course some beach time!
Weather (yes, really :) ): This spring has been a little sad, going straight from 50 degree sweater weather to a sweltering 95 degrees today, but I've been trying to get out and about and enjoy the spring days when they happen! We lucked out with Memorial Day and the weekend my MIL was here being sunny and in the 70's. I'm keeping my fingers crossed for great weather (read: no rain) when we get to San Fran!
So, that's what's new in my world. And of course, the dragging of the figurative feet as my 30th birthday looms in the next month (7/11). I am freaking out about it quite a bit, though I can't be sure why it bugs me so much. I love my husband and my house, my career is at an acceptable level, and I feel like I am enjoying life. But something about the 30's just sounds all very downhill. I know, I know, you're only as old as you feel, and 30's are the new 20's, blah blah blah. But I had a pretty great 20's and I miss the spring in my step and the lack of responsibilities and societal expectations. *sigh* First world problems, I know :)
Til next time! :)
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
Before The Throne Of God Above
I have always loved the song in the title, it really gets to the bottom of what Christ did for us and what that means. I have italicized and bolded some key phrases below that really grab me, and here's my thoughts on them...
Dying daily to our sinful nature, and every day claiming the blood of Christ is an ongoing, never-ending battle. His sacrifice continually cloths us with grace, He "ever lives and pleads for me." We accepted Christ as our Savior once, but it was a one time thing. Every single time we approach the throne of God, we need to claim His righteousness as our own or God could not look upon us. Our nature is dark with sin, and that darkness is not tolerated in His presence. He "look[s] on Him and pardon[s] me."
Our sins have been paid for. The greed or envy or hate or pride I feel tomorrow has already been paid for. I need to be truly sorry for my sins, and I need to beg for mercy every time. But when Christ climbed up on that cross, He knew what he was doing. Your most despicable acts were already known. There is nothing I can do in this lifetime that will make God sit back, and say "Oooh, I don't know about forgiving that one, it was a real doozy." God knows the time you hated someone and committed murder in your mind, He knows about the time you considered yourself above every one else, He knows the lustful sins you committed in your heart. Jesus died knowing exactly who we are and what we're made of. He can forgive any sin, as long as you believe He can.
However, we are so stained with sin, so irreconcilably evil that God Himself cannot be in our presence. Jesus had to die for us before we could dare come before God in prayer. When God sees us, He sees perfection, because we are clothed in righteousness. There is nothing we can do to earn it or deserve it, it just is. Sometimes that fact humbles me so much, it seems almost impossible. Such a priceless gift cannot come free to me, certainly there is some number of good things I must do to earn it, or a limit of bad things I can do before I lose it. But nope, He "made an end of all my sin." Forever. That's amazing.
Anyway, I was just really feeling this song today and thought I'd share.
"Before the throne of God above / I have a strong and perfect plea
A great high priest whose name is Love / Who ever lives and pleads for me
My name is graven on His hands / My name is written on His heart
I know that while in heaven He stands / No tongue can bid me thence depart
No tongue can bid me thence depart
When Satan tempts me to despair / And tells me of the guilt within
Upward I look and see Him there / Who made an end of all my sin
Because the sinless Savior died / My sinful soul is counted free
For God the Just is satisfied / To look on Him and pardon me
To look on Him and pardon me
Alleluia, alleluia
Praise the One, Risen Son of God
Behold Him there, the Risen Lamb / My perfect spotless Righteousness
The great unchangeable I Am / The King of glory and of grace
One with Himself I cannot die / My soul is purchased by His blood
My life is hid with Christ on high / With Christ, my Savior and my God
With Christ, my Savior and my God"
Dying daily to our sinful nature, and every day claiming the blood of Christ is an ongoing, never-ending battle. His sacrifice continually cloths us with grace, He "ever lives and pleads for me." We accepted Christ as our Savior once, but it was a one time thing. Every single time we approach the throne of God, we need to claim His righteousness as our own or God could not look upon us. Our nature is dark with sin, and that darkness is not tolerated in His presence. He "look[s] on Him and pardon[s] me."
Our sins have been paid for. The greed or envy or hate or pride I feel tomorrow has already been paid for. I need to be truly sorry for my sins, and I need to beg for mercy every time. But when Christ climbed up on that cross, He knew what he was doing. Your most despicable acts were already known. There is nothing I can do in this lifetime that will make God sit back, and say "Oooh, I don't know about forgiving that one, it was a real doozy." God knows the time you hated someone and committed murder in your mind, He knows about the time you considered yourself above every one else, He knows the lustful sins you committed in your heart. Jesus died knowing exactly who we are and what we're made of. He can forgive any sin, as long as you believe He can.
However, we are so stained with sin, so irreconcilably evil that God Himself cannot be in our presence. Jesus had to die for us before we could dare come before God in prayer. When God sees us, He sees perfection, because we are clothed in righteousness. There is nothing we can do to earn it or deserve it, it just is. Sometimes that fact humbles me so much, it seems almost impossible. Such a priceless gift cannot come free to me, certainly there is some number of good things I must do to earn it, or a limit of bad things I can do before I lose it. But nope, He "made an end of all my sin." Forever. That's amazing.
Anyway, I was just really feeling this song today and thought I'd share.
"Before the throne of God above / I have a strong and perfect plea
A great high priest whose name is Love / Who ever lives and pleads for me
My name is graven on His hands / My name is written on His heart
I know that while in heaven He stands / No tongue can bid me thence depart
No tongue can bid me thence depart
When Satan tempts me to despair / And tells me of the guilt within
Upward I look and see Him there / Who made an end of all my sin
Because the sinless Savior died / My sinful soul is counted free
For God the Just is satisfied / To look on Him and pardon me
To look on Him and pardon me
Alleluia, alleluia
Praise the One, Risen Son of God
Behold Him there, the Risen Lamb / My perfect spotless Righteousness
The great unchangeable I Am / The King of glory and of grace
One with Himself I cannot die / My soul is purchased by His blood
My life is hid with Christ on high / With Christ, my Savior and my God
With Christ, my Savior and my God"
Thursday, April 21, 2011
Happy Easter Indeed!
While Christmas is the Christian holiday that gets all the fuss and fanfare, I daresay Easter should get at least, if not more, attention! Christmas did bring Jesus to earth, without which He could not have fulfilled His destiny. However, Easter was His destiny, His reason for coming to earth. Christmas brought us a great leader, a religious example, a truly pure-hearted man. However, had He lived and died like any other man, the fate of mankind would be unchanged. Our sins would destine us to an after-life of the harshest suffering, which we unarguably deserve.
Easter is what changed our lives for the better. Our Lord, our Savior, our Redeemer lived His full 30+ years leading up to this day. Sure, He healed individuals, both physically and spiritually during His time on earth. He walked with mankind and lived out what our lives should look like every day. But without His final unavoidable, un-delayable, un-delegatable act, Christmas would not mean as much.
Even Good Friday is not what changed our lives for the better. This perfect man hung dying on a cross, gasping for breath, then using those breaths to bless those around Him and beg for forgiveness on their behalf. Because He was a man and felt human emotion and pain like each of us does, He knew in the days leading up to His death that the pain would be excruciating, the mockery relentless, the taunts cruel. He begged His Dad to find any other way, but His love for humanity led Him straight into Judas' embrace, into Pilate's courts, and up the hill bearing a cross heavy enough to hold all of mankind's sins. I can only imagine that as the nails dug in and the cross dropped into place, the reality of the pain and suffering set in. Though He knew He would not stay dead, the pain of His impeding suffocation was real and terrible. As the criminal next to Him questioned how He could save anyone if He couldn't save Himself, I am sure His human heart was tempted to do just that. To end His pain and let those who were delighting in His death to suffer their own deaths a thousand times over in hell. But as I've heard a hundred times over the years, those nails were ultimately powerless to hold God to the cross. It was His love alone that kept him bloodied and beaten and dying on that cross. And for that reason, we do celebrate Good Friday.
But had it ended there, had our Savior died on that cross and been buried, our sins would still be undefeated and would still condemn us to a life without Him. Easter Sunday brought with it death defeated, a resurrection of a human life sacrificed for His creations, and freedom from our destiny. We can live a life full of mistakes Jesus could never make: pride, unmercifulness, hatred, impatience, intolerance; and still know that as He hung there dying on a cross, He knew exactly what He was dying for, knew that millions of people would reject His sacrifice as unnecessary or even fiction. But all it takes, all Jesus needs to hear to make His death worthwhile, is that we believe. We believe all the taunts thrown in His face on that day, that He is the King, the Savior, the Son of God, and that He was there to save others. As the criminal on his other side learned, it took just one brief conversation for him to confess he believed everything Jesus said and did was true, and he was forever saved from a permanent death and would bask forever in the same love that led Jesus to the cross that day. By defeating death, Christ defeated the hold sin has on us. Though we are cursed to live our human days fighting against our condemned nature, God offered us redemption by sacrificing His own Son in our place and then raising Him from the dead. That one life, that one death, and that one resurrection forever changed the world, and I pity the ones that do not know or believe that the one true God loves and cares about them personally.
And that, dear readers, is why Easter is indeed happy. May you bask in a love like no other, knowing that your Lord died and rose again to give you life everlasting and all you have to do is believe it. He could not have made it any harder on Himself or easier on mankind if He had tried. Hallelujah!
Easter is what changed our lives for the better. Our Lord, our Savior, our Redeemer lived His full 30+ years leading up to this day. Sure, He healed individuals, both physically and spiritually during His time on earth. He walked with mankind and lived out what our lives should look like every day. But without His final unavoidable, un-delayable, un-delegatable act, Christmas would not mean as much.
Even Good Friday is not what changed our lives for the better. This perfect man hung dying on a cross, gasping for breath, then using those breaths to bless those around Him and beg for forgiveness on their behalf. Because He was a man and felt human emotion and pain like each of us does, He knew in the days leading up to His death that the pain would be excruciating, the mockery relentless, the taunts cruel. He begged His Dad to find any other way, but His love for humanity led Him straight into Judas' embrace, into Pilate's courts, and up the hill bearing a cross heavy enough to hold all of mankind's sins. I can only imagine that as the nails dug in and the cross dropped into place, the reality of the pain and suffering set in. Though He knew He would not stay dead, the pain of His impeding suffocation was real and terrible. As the criminal next to Him questioned how He could save anyone if He couldn't save Himself, I am sure His human heart was tempted to do just that. To end His pain and let those who were delighting in His death to suffer their own deaths a thousand times over in hell. But as I've heard a hundred times over the years, those nails were ultimately powerless to hold God to the cross. It was His love alone that kept him bloodied and beaten and dying on that cross. And for that reason, we do celebrate Good Friday.
But had it ended there, had our Savior died on that cross and been buried, our sins would still be undefeated and would still condemn us to a life without Him. Easter Sunday brought with it death defeated, a resurrection of a human life sacrificed for His creations, and freedom from our destiny. We can live a life full of mistakes Jesus could never make: pride, unmercifulness, hatred, impatience, intolerance; and still know that as He hung there dying on a cross, He knew exactly what He was dying for, knew that millions of people would reject His sacrifice as unnecessary or even fiction. But all it takes, all Jesus needs to hear to make His death worthwhile, is that we believe. We believe all the taunts thrown in His face on that day, that He is the King, the Savior, the Son of God, and that He was there to save others. As the criminal on his other side learned, it took just one brief conversation for him to confess he believed everything Jesus said and did was true, and he was forever saved from a permanent death and would bask forever in the same love that led Jesus to the cross that day. By defeating death, Christ defeated the hold sin has on us. Though we are cursed to live our human days fighting against our condemned nature, God offered us redemption by sacrificing His own Son in our place and then raising Him from the dead. That one life, that one death, and that one resurrection forever changed the world, and I pity the ones that do not know or believe that the one true God loves and cares about them personally.
And that, dear readers, is why Easter is indeed happy. May you bask in a love like no other, knowing that your Lord died and rose again to give you life everlasting and all you have to do is believe it. He could not have made it any harder on Himself or easier on mankind if He had tried. Hallelujah!
Thursday, March 31, 2011
Random Notes...
Sorry for the lack of updates lately, it's been a pretty plain few weeks.
Last Saturday, in honor of St. Patrick's Day, we held a party at our house. In became an accidental tradition when we had our first apartment warming in 2008 on Patty's Day. Last year, we had our first big party on the same holiday, though we had boxes still scattered and very few furniture pieces set up. :) This year, our living room was actually hospitable and with the in-ceiling speakers finally up and running, it was a very comfortable (and dance-y) environment for a party! :)
This weekend, Anthony is going to MD for a Beer, Bourbon, BBQ, and Bacon Festival with one of his best friends, leaving me home alone. I have some things planned for Friday and Saturday night, so hopefully it will fly by!
Today, I got good news at work in the way of our annual reviews/ raise. My boss had nothing but rave words to say about me - I was hired for a much simpler, easier job than what I am now performing and she is very happy with my efforts and my work ethic. My official title is Accountant, but she says I am basically an acting Senior Accountant, which she said is impressive especially considering I have no accounting degree! :) The high praise alone cheered up my day immensely, but a raise never hurt anything! Our company wide standards for yearly raises are very low (which I was warned about ahead of time, thank goodness!), so while not a big raise in and of itself, the percentage is higher than average by a bit, so yay!
On a different note, snow is predicted for tomorrow. Boston most likely won't get much, but 6-12 inches are predicted in other parts of MA. I never cease to be amazed at New England weather sometimes. We had a few 50/60 degree days, and my mind leapt into Spring mode so this is highly disheartening now! :)
Anyway, hope all is well with my readers!! My blog buddies had some fun news this week too, so I'll share! My sister-in-law's son (also my brother's, but she's the one who blogs) just turned 1 yesterday!! So glad he pulled through as a serious preemie and is doing just great now! And my oldest friend Bethany seems to have her sister and niece and nephew staying with her for quite a bit, so that sounds like an awesome treat! Some other friends from my Germany days (Sara and Rachael) had some very challenging words in their latest blogs, and I never tire of hearing other people's ephiphanies about living a Christian life.
Anyway, that's my news for Quarter 1 of 2011. Have a great weekend, y'all!
Last Saturday, in honor of St. Patrick's Day, we held a party at our house. In became an accidental tradition when we had our first apartment warming in 2008 on Patty's Day. Last year, we had our first big party on the same holiday, though we had boxes still scattered and very few furniture pieces set up. :) This year, our living room was actually hospitable and with the in-ceiling speakers finally up and running, it was a very comfortable (and dance-y) environment for a party! :)
This weekend, Anthony is going to MD for a Beer, Bourbon, BBQ, and Bacon Festival with one of his best friends, leaving me home alone. I have some things planned for Friday and Saturday night, so hopefully it will fly by!
Today, I got good news at work in the way of our annual reviews/ raise. My boss had nothing but rave words to say about me - I was hired for a much simpler, easier job than what I am now performing and she is very happy with my efforts and my work ethic. My official title is Accountant, but she says I am basically an acting Senior Accountant, which she said is impressive especially considering I have no accounting degree! :) The high praise alone cheered up my day immensely, but a raise never hurt anything! Our company wide standards for yearly raises are very low (which I was warned about ahead of time, thank goodness!), so while not a big raise in and of itself, the percentage is higher than average by a bit, so yay!
On a different note, snow is predicted for tomorrow. Boston most likely won't get much, but 6-12 inches are predicted in other parts of MA. I never cease to be amazed at New England weather sometimes. We had a few 50/60 degree days, and my mind leapt into Spring mode so this is highly disheartening now! :)
Anyway, hope all is well with my readers!! My blog buddies had some fun news this week too, so I'll share! My sister-in-law's son (also my brother's, but she's the one who blogs) just turned 1 yesterday!! So glad he pulled through as a serious preemie and is doing just great now! And my oldest friend Bethany seems to have her sister and niece and nephew staying with her for quite a bit, so that sounds like an awesome treat! Some other friends from my Germany days (Sara and Rachael) had some very challenging words in their latest blogs, and I never tire of hearing other people's ephiphanies about living a Christian life.
Anyway, that's my news for Quarter 1 of 2011. Have a great weekend, y'all!
Monday, March 14, 2011
PAX / EBF
For those who don't know, PAX East is a weekend-long conference started by gamers for gamers. It stands for the Penny Arcade Expo, Penny Arcade being a nerd-centric comic online whose two writers decided to start the expo. It started in Seattle, but demand grew and now the one started in Boston actually draws more participants. All kinds of nerds go there, gamers, music addicts, comic addicts, tech geeks, etc. and the atmosphere is just incredibly friendly and accepting because everyone knows they probably have something in common with almost everyone else there. Tickets are surprisingly cheap for all 3 days (only $55!) so I tend to tag along with Anthony, to keep him company but also because I even find some of the stuff there intriguing. I also like the concerts on Friday and Saturday nights, so that alone is worth the price of admission.
This year, it started Thursday night with an organized pub crawl/ scavenger hunt/ challenge-based activity for PAXers to come out and get to know fellow participants. There were four teams of 100, and each challenge was based on you finding an opposing teammate and learning something about them. I was a little intimidated about going, but everyone is so friendly, we had an absolute blast and made a ton of friends! Most were from out of town, sadly, but it was still fun to hang out with them for a few days.
Friday I worked a little, then scooted down to the conference where I sat in some panels with Anthony, went out for dinner with some friends, then came back for the concert. We were most excited about the headlining artist who normally plays last, but he came on earlier this year so we missed a good portion of his act because we were still at dinner. Sad. But at least we were headed home by around midnight!
Saturday started with Anthony and his best friend from high school heading into Boston for the annual Extreme Beerfest (which sadly was on the same weekend as PAX this year, boo!). As I do not like beer, I dropped them off then headed to the PAX area and grabbed some food and drink in a nearby pub. It was completely full of PAXers, and my admission badge gave me away, so it was easy to make some new friends and I had a blast just chatting the afternoon away. When Anthony came back, we hung out some more, then headed to the concert at the starting time, since we were interested in all the acts. The concert was hilarious but started at 8:30 and did not end until 2, so I was aching from standing that long, and very dehydrated and hungry. Unfortunately, DST was also that night, so we did not hit the road until 3:30 technically, and we stopped at a gas station to get some grub on the way home. We did not collapse in bed until around 5, and I thought I was going to pass out. Long day!!!
We slept in a little (but not enough) on Sunday, then went out to brunch as the last hurrah with Anthony's visiting friend. Once we had dropped him at the airport, we headed back to the Expo Hall to play some game demos they had available. By the end of that, we were drop-dead tired, hungry, and so very dehydrated, so we popped out to a nearby pub to fix the last 2 problems, then headed home and fell into bed.
It was a very jam-packed, fun, exciting weekend, and I'm so very glad I went with Anthony again this year. We hit it off with several people we met, and it was very sad to see that come to an end. The ones we liked best all flew back to their home towns, and it's a bit startling to come back to reality now, with work and our old/ normal/ year-round friends :) I really do wish Anthony had some more gaming friends in this area, because I know the adjustment back to reality always leaves him with a slightly bittersweet aftertaste, being around and exposed to so many games/ gamers but not having that much in his day-to-day life. Alas! Back to the daily grind!
This year, it started Thursday night with an organized pub crawl/ scavenger hunt/ challenge-based activity for PAXers to come out and get to know fellow participants. There were four teams of 100, and each challenge was based on you finding an opposing teammate and learning something about them. I was a little intimidated about going, but everyone is so friendly, we had an absolute blast and made a ton of friends! Most were from out of town, sadly, but it was still fun to hang out with them for a few days.
Friday I worked a little, then scooted down to the conference where I sat in some panels with Anthony, went out for dinner with some friends, then came back for the concert. We were most excited about the headlining artist who normally plays last, but he came on earlier this year so we missed a good portion of his act because we were still at dinner. Sad. But at least we were headed home by around midnight!
Saturday started with Anthony and his best friend from high school heading into Boston for the annual Extreme Beerfest (which sadly was on the same weekend as PAX this year, boo!). As I do not like beer, I dropped them off then headed to the PAX area and grabbed some food and drink in a nearby pub. It was completely full of PAXers, and my admission badge gave me away, so it was easy to make some new friends and I had a blast just chatting the afternoon away. When Anthony came back, we hung out some more, then headed to the concert at the starting time, since we were interested in all the acts. The concert was hilarious but started at 8:30 and did not end until 2, so I was aching from standing that long, and very dehydrated and hungry. Unfortunately, DST was also that night, so we did not hit the road until 3:30 technically, and we stopped at a gas station to get some grub on the way home. We did not collapse in bed until around 5, and I thought I was going to pass out. Long day!!!
We slept in a little (but not enough) on Sunday, then went out to brunch as the last hurrah with Anthony's visiting friend. Once we had dropped him at the airport, we headed back to the Expo Hall to play some game demos they had available. By the end of that, we were drop-dead tired, hungry, and so very dehydrated, so we popped out to a nearby pub to fix the last 2 problems, then headed home and fell into bed.
It was a very jam-packed, fun, exciting weekend, and I'm so very glad I went with Anthony again this year. We hit it off with several people we met, and it was very sad to see that come to an end. The ones we liked best all flew back to their home towns, and it's a bit startling to come back to reality now, with work and our old/ normal/ year-round friends :) I really do wish Anthony had some more gaming friends in this area, because I know the adjustment back to reality always leaves him with a slightly bittersweet aftertaste, being around and exposed to so many games/ gamers but not having that much in his day-to-day life. Alas! Back to the daily grind!
Thursday, March 3, 2011
Loving the Unlovable
I think almost everyone I know struggles with this particular weakness in their lifetime. It is relatively easy and well within our human nature to be nice and kind and generous and merciful and forgiving and patient to those people we like, people who are like us and who like us back. But what about that coworker you cannot even bear to look at? That friend's spouse that constantly does an Irish jig on your last nerve? That family member you have absolutely nothing in common with? That rude clerk or driver who seems intent on causing your head to explode in frustration? We all have those people in our lives, and though I am very imperfect at reflecting God's light to those people, I know I should and I know I should try.
I have one friend who almost seems proud of her inability to not even pretend to be nice to people she does not respect. I am always afraid to bring new friends around her, because should she decide she does not like them, it is a very miserable time in which she goes out of her way to be rude and obnoxious and confrontational. And I confess, I judge her pretty harshly (albeit silently) for her inability to show love to anyone that does not love her. However, I have a particularly hard time with one of my coworkers, and pretty unabashedly avoid eye contact and any kind of contact with her. I may not be rude or mean to her face, but I think it and I talk about it behind her back, and the thought is just as sinful as the act itself. I know I am very quick to become annoyed or insensitive around people I think do not deserve my kindness, and I know I need to be better at it. However, I feel this is one of the more tolerated sins in our society and sometimes I fall prey to the thinking that says it doesn't really matter, you don't have to like *everyone* in the world. But then I read today's entry from My Utmost for His Highest. And I felt convicted all over again. The whole entry can be found at http://www.myutmost.org/03/0303.html, but this part really drives it home (emphasis mine)...
"The love of God pays no attention to the distinctions made by natural individuality. If I love my Lord I have no business to be guided by natural temperament; I have to feed His sheep. There is no relief and no release from this commission. Beware of counterfeiting the love of God by working along the line of natural human sympathy, because that will end in blaspheming the love of God."
I have one friend who almost seems proud of her inability to not even pretend to be nice to people she does not respect. I am always afraid to bring new friends around her, because should she decide she does not like them, it is a very miserable time in which she goes out of her way to be rude and obnoxious and confrontational. And I confess, I judge her pretty harshly (albeit silently) for her inability to show love to anyone that does not love her. However, I have a particularly hard time with one of my coworkers, and pretty unabashedly avoid eye contact and any kind of contact with her. I may not be rude or mean to her face, but I think it and I talk about it behind her back, and the thought is just as sinful as the act itself. I know I am very quick to become annoyed or insensitive around people I think do not deserve my kindness, and I know I need to be better at it. However, I feel this is one of the more tolerated sins in our society and sometimes I fall prey to the thinking that says it doesn't really matter, you don't have to like *everyone* in the world. But then I read today's entry from My Utmost for His Highest. And I felt convicted all over again. The whole entry can be found at http://www.myutmost.org/03/0303.html, but this part really drives it home (emphasis mine)...
"The love of God pays no attention to the distinctions made by natural individuality. If I love my Lord I have no business to be guided by natural temperament; I have to feed His sheep. There is no relief and no release from this commission. Beware of counterfeiting the love of God by working along the line of natural human sympathy, because that will end in blaspheming the love of God."
Friday, February 25, 2011
Always Have, Always Will
Part of me is the prodigal, part of me is the other brother
But I think the heart of me is really somewhere between them
Some days I'm running wild, some days we're reconciled
But I wonder all the while why you put up with me when
I wrestle most days to find ways to do as I please
I always have, I always will
You saved me once, You save me still
A longing heart, Your love alone can fill
You always have, always will
I was born with a wayward heart, still I live with a restless spirit
My soul is so well worn, you'd think I'd have arrived by now
I'm caught in the trappings of my search for lasting love
I've made mistakes enough to last me a lifetime
I still slip, I still fall / But I'll always run back to You
I'm gonna keep trusting You / I see what You've seen me through
I'm going where You have gone / I'm letting You lead me on
All my days (always and forever)
Never far (never leave me, never)
Here I'll stay (ever love me, ever)
Here's my heart / I'll always love You
I always have, I always will
You saved me once, You save me still
A longing heart, Your love alone can fill
You always have, always will
-Avalon
But I think the heart of me is really somewhere between them
Some days I'm running wild, some days we're reconciled
But I wonder all the while why you put up with me when
I wrestle most days to find ways to do as I please
I always have, I always will
You saved me once, You save me still
A longing heart, Your love alone can fill
You always have, always will
I was born with a wayward heart, still I live with a restless spirit
My soul is so well worn, you'd think I'd have arrived by now
I'm caught in the trappings of my search for lasting love
I've made mistakes enough to last me a lifetime
I still slip, I still fall / But I'll always run back to You
I'm gonna keep trusting You / I see what You've seen me through
I'm going where You have gone / I'm letting You lead me on
All my days (always and forever)
Never far (never leave me, never)
Here I'll stay (ever love me, ever)
Here's my heart / I'll always love You
I always have, I always will
You saved me once, You save me still
A longing heart, Your love alone can fill
You always have, always will
-Avalon
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Valentine's 2011
As any readers know by now, Valentine's is my favorite holiday. I understand that it is not everybody's favorite holiday, but I do take much issue with people who say it's not a real holiday. It is a real holiday, and sure, Hallmark and florists and chocolatiers profit mightily, but retail profits much more at Halloween and no one calls that a made-up holiday. Even if it was made up by retailers, are we so cynical and bitter that we don't want to celebrate love, even if we do not have a romantic love each year? But I digress...
Every year, I try to make it low-stress for Anthony. I want flowers and a romantic meal with him. That's it. No presents, no pricey meal we have to share with a thousand other couples. We tend to eat in, making the same meal we ate when Anthony proposed 5 Valentine's ago, and normally top it off with a chick flick.
But this year, we had the weekend before free and there were some things we had been looking to do, so we made a day or two of it. First on our agenda was some outlet shopping...I had some gift money burning a hole in my pocket and I was anxious to buy a Burberry handbag! Fittingly, I found a classic plaid one with faint hearts and red details - perfect for the holiday at hand.
We had also wanted to try a new interactive puzzle/ game/ adventure thing called Espionage. You and several other people embark with a tour guide on a top-secret mission to find a mole in your organization. You work together to sniff out clues, solve puzzles, and escape death! We have done something like this called The Tomb twice before, and enjoyed it whether by ourselves or with friends. They are a tad cheesy, but it's still a good time. You move from room to room, each holding a challenge. The last room is the one where death is upon you and it's you against the clock! Espionage contained a bugged room, a laser room, a missile storage room, and finally a bomb room!
After all that excitement, we polished Day 1 off with a trip to Olive Garden. Though that might not seem special or romantic to most, there are no OG's near us so we haven't been in years!
There were also some Natalie Portman flicks out that weekend that we were anxious to see, so we splurged on a double feature (with snacks, gasp!!) the following day.
When Monday was upon us, Anthony hand-delivered flowers to my office. My bestie Bri also sent me flowers on account of it being my favorite holiday and her being thoughtful that way. :) We also normally do lunch with my parents at the place where Anthony asked for my dad's blessing on 2/12/07, but unfortunately they were sick and it has been indefinitely postponed.
All in all, a perfectly wonderful and jam-packed weekend with my love! I hope everyone else was also able to celebrate all the loves in their lives - significant others, friends, family, nieces, nephews, pets, whatever! :)
Every year, I try to make it low-stress for Anthony. I want flowers and a romantic meal with him. That's it. No presents, no pricey meal we have to share with a thousand other couples. We tend to eat in, making the same meal we ate when Anthony proposed 5 Valentine's ago, and normally top it off with a chick flick.
But this year, we had the weekend before free and there were some things we had been looking to do, so we made a day or two of it. First on our agenda was some outlet shopping...I had some gift money burning a hole in my pocket and I was anxious to buy a Burberry handbag! Fittingly, I found a classic plaid one with faint hearts and red details - perfect for the holiday at hand.
We had also wanted to try a new interactive puzzle/ game/ adventure thing called Espionage. You and several other people embark with a tour guide on a top-secret mission to find a mole in your organization. You work together to sniff out clues, solve puzzles, and escape death! We have done something like this called The Tomb twice before, and enjoyed it whether by ourselves or with friends. They are a tad cheesy, but it's still a good time. You move from room to room, each holding a challenge. The last room is the one where death is upon you and it's you against the clock! Espionage contained a bugged room, a laser room, a missile storage room, and finally a bomb room!
After all that excitement, we polished Day 1 off with a trip to Olive Garden. Though that might not seem special or romantic to most, there are no OG's near us so we haven't been in years!
There were also some Natalie Portman flicks out that weekend that we were anxious to see, so we splurged on a double feature (with snacks, gasp!!) the following day.
When Monday was upon us, Anthony hand-delivered flowers to my office. My bestie Bri also sent me flowers on account of it being my favorite holiday and her being thoughtful that way. :) We also normally do lunch with my parents at the place where Anthony asked for my dad's blessing on 2/12/07, but unfortunately they were sick and it has been indefinitely postponed.
All in all, a perfectly wonderful and jam-packed weekend with my love! I hope everyone else was also able to celebrate all the loves in their lives - significant others, friends, family, nieces, nephews, pets, whatever! :)
Friday, February 4, 2011
Ikea Eats Phones
It is with much sadness that I enter this post. Here is the tale of that sadness.
Last Saturday, my husband and a friend and I embarked on a day long adventure of shopping, the most vital stop being Ikea. My friend is trying to set up her new apartment, and Anthony and I had a few more tiny items we were looking to add to our house. We had been in Ikea for about half an hour when I pulled out my phone to pull up the shopping list I had saved there. I passed the phone to Anthony to view it also, and that is the last time we remember seeing my phone. Neither of us remembers if he gave it back to me or not, and we absolutely cannot piece together what happened to it. Shortly after that, I set out in the Ikea maze to find a bathroom. While waiting in the line, I reached for my phone to occupy my waiting time but it was not in my pocket. I assumed Anthony had pocketed it after looking at it, and did not worry. But as soon as I reached him again, I asked for it and my heart dropped into my stomach when he said no. We quickly retraced all our steps, stopping especially where we had sat down and/ or spent a lot of time but no luck. We asked every clerk we passed for the rest of our shopping trip, and Anthony retraced our steps one last time before we left. That was a week ago now and it still has not been found, so I have very little hope it will turn up.
There are several reasons this makes me so sad. Firstly, this was the first phone I had ever cared about and waited for. My husband and his friends (the phone experts) started researching phones for me when I announced I had an upgrade looming. They picked this one out based on my preferences, but the release day was months away so I waited quite some time for it. It finally came out in October and I went that very day to get it! Secondly, I had it for such a short period of time that I still want that one again, I'm not ready for a new phone yet. Thirdly, all my pictures and texts and songs and notes and other personal items will never be recovered. That makes me a little sad. Fourthly, and this isn't something that makes me sad so much as will just drive me crazy, is that I will never know what happened to it. Did Anthony give it back to me and I set it down? Did it fall out of my pocket? Was it stolen? *sigh*
The part that hurts the most is the price tag - out of contract, that phone is almost $400!! I refuse to pay that for a phone, but I don't want to wait 2 years. We're still trying to work that out, but in the meantime I'm using Anthony's old 3G iPhone. And I really don't like it. I miss my phone very much.
Last Saturday, my husband and a friend and I embarked on a day long adventure of shopping, the most vital stop being Ikea. My friend is trying to set up her new apartment, and Anthony and I had a few more tiny items we were looking to add to our house. We had been in Ikea for about half an hour when I pulled out my phone to pull up the shopping list I had saved there. I passed the phone to Anthony to view it also, and that is the last time we remember seeing my phone. Neither of us remembers if he gave it back to me or not, and we absolutely cannot piece together what happened to it. Shortly after that, I set out in the Ikea maze to find a bathroom. While waiting in the line, I reached for my phone to occupy my waiting time but it was not in my pocket. I assumed Anthony had pocketed it after looking at it, and did not worry. But as soon as I reached him again, I asked for it and my heart dropped into my stomach when he said no. We quickly retraced all our steps, stopping especially where we had sat down and/ or spent a lot of time but no luck. We asked every clerk we passed for the rest of our shopping trip, and Anthony retraced our steps one last time before we left. That was a week ago now and it still has not been found, so I have very little hope it will turn up.
There are several reasons this makes me so sad. Firstly, this was the first phone I had ever cared about and waited for. My husband and his friends (the phone experts) started researching phones for me when I announced I had an upgrade looming. They picked this one out based on my preferences, but the release day was months away so I waited quite some time for it. It finally came out in October and I went that very day to get it! Secondly, I had it for such a short period of time that I still want that one again, I'm not ready for a new phone yet. Thirdly, all my pictures and texts and songs and notes and other personal items will never be recovered. That makes me a little sad. Fourthly, and this isn't something that makes me sad so much as will just drive me crazy, is that I will never know what happened to it. Did Anthony give it back to me and I set it down? Did it fall out of my pocket? Was it stolen? *sigh*
The part that hurts the most is the price tag - out of contract, that phone is almost $400!! I refuse to pay that for a phone, but I don't want to wait 2 years. We're still trying to work that out, but in the meantime I'm using Anthony's old 3G iPhone. And I really don't like it. I miss my phone very much.
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Big Surprise!
(I am not sure how I neglected to blog about this when it actually happened, but let me take you back to Tuesday, 11 January 2011...)
My mom's doctor happens to be in the area where I work, so we often get together for lunch after her appointments. She had asked on Monday if I was free to do lunch, and I readily agreed and offered to bring along my husband as well. She called when she was on her way, and I bounded out to the car unsuspectingly. Upon opening the door, I saw a carseat and was momentarily stunned. Then I saw the biggest, most curious little eyes peering up at me and my jaw dropped! Then I heard my brother laugh and looked up to see him in the backseat of my mom's van, with his gorgeous daughter and son in tow!!!!! They live on the opposite side of the country, so visits are few and far between. I had been lucky enough to make it out there to meet my 2 year old niece, but had not yet met my 9 month old nephew! I was beyond thrilled to see them, and the story came out that my sister-in-law had very generously loaned them to us for a week while she was working long year-end/ audit hours. Everyone had been in on the surprise, including my husband, and I could not have been happier!
I was so excited and could not get enough of holding my little niece and nephew! Both kids are very chill, very easy-going most of the time, so it was an absolute treat to get to hang with them for a week. Kaylen is much older than the last time I saw her, so it was so much fun to see her walking and talking and playing. She is very good at giving kisses when requested, and I'm sure I annoyed her with my constant asking. She is absolutely gorgeous, and I know I am not the only one that thinks so (she has been in more than one modeling campaign already!) Ryan was born prematurely last March, but he is definitely catching up it seems! His eyes seem even bigger than his sister's, and he was a very curious sort, always looking around and scootching about to see all the happenings. He is definitely as cute as his sister for sure, and I held him as often as I could! I went to my parents' house almost every day they were there that week, and I am so in love with them.
It does bear noting that I also loved seeing my brother. We were so close growing up, and the distance means I don't see him anywhere as often as I'd like. It was fun to catch up on what latest movies or games we enjoyed, and I even took him out with my crazy friends one night! It's so weird to see him as a daddy since I know he's barely older than I am, but he sure does love his kids and it was clear they loved him.
The one person missing from this story is my sister-in-law Sharon, who as I mentioned, lent us her family because she was working crazy hours and barely seeing them anyway. Though logically it makes sense, I'm sure it was hard for her to have a crazy/ busy/ non-relaxing day, then have to come home to an empty house without her loving husband and kids to greet her. So, for that sacrifice, we were very grateful. It was also sad because she was not able to visit as well, but her new job affords her very few vacation days and she used them giving birth to my perfect nephew. :/
Anyway, they are gone now and I sure do miss them. I was so glad to see them in this little window of their tiny lives, seeing them before they can fully walk and talk. I know they'll both be much bigger next time I see them, and I wish I could see them growing up, but I will gladly take what I can get!! My parents are the very cliched grandparents, doting on their every new skill and showering them with much love and attention and gifts! With grandkids as adorable as those though, I think we all turn into slightly obsessed relatives when they're around! :)
My mom's doctor happens to be in the area where I work, so we often get together for lunch after her appointments. She had asked on Monday if I was free to do lunch, and I readily agreed and offered to bring along my husband as well. She called when she was on her way, and I bounded out to the car unsuspectingly. Upon opening the door, I saw a carseat and was momentarily stunned. Then I saw the biggest, most curious little eyes peering up at me and my jaw dropped! Then I heard my brother laugh and looked up to see him in the backseat of my mom's van, with his gorgeous daughter and son in tow!!!!! They live on the opposite side of the country, so visits are few and far between. I had been lucky enough to make it out there to meet my 2 year old niece, but had not yet met my 9 month old nephew! I was beyond thrilled to see them, and the story came out that my sister-in-law had very generously loaned them to us for a week while she was working long year-end/ audit hours. Everyone had been in on the surprise, including my husband, and I could not have been happier!
I was so excited and could not get enough of holding my little niece and nephew! Both kids are very chill, very easy-going most of the time, so it was an absolute treat to get to hang with them for a week. Kaylen is much older than the last time I saw her, so it was so much fun to see her walking and talking and playing. She is very good at giving kisses when requested, and I'm sure I annoyed her with my constant asking. She is absolutely gorgeous, and I know I am not the only one that thinks so (she has been in more than one modeling campaign already!) Ryan was born prematurely last March, but he is definitely catching up it seems! His eyes seem even bigger than his sister's, and he was a very curious sort, always looking around and scootching about to see all the happenings. He is definitely as cute as his sister for sure, and I held him as often as I could! I went to my parents' house almost every day they were there that week, and I am so in love with them.
It does bear noting that I also loved seeing my brother. We were so close growing up, and the distance means I don't see him anywhere as often as I'd like. It was fun to catch up on what latest movies or games we enjoyed, and I even took him out with my crazy friends one night! It's so weird to see him as a daddy since I know he's barely older than I am, but he sure does love his kids and it was clear they loved him.
The one person missing from this story is my sister-in-law Sharon, who as I mentioned, lent us her family because she was working crazy hours and barely seeing them anyway. Though logically it makes sense, I'm sure it was hard for her to have a crazy/ busy/ non-relaxing day, then have to come home to an empty house without her loving husband and kids to greet her. So, for that sacrifice, we were very grateful. It was also sad because she was not able to visit as well, but her new job affords her very few vacation days and she used them giving birth to my perfect nephew. :/
Anyway, they are gone now and I sure do miss them. I was so glad to see them in this little window of their tiny lives, seeing them before they can fully walk and talk. I know they'll both be much bigger next time I see them, and I wish I could see them growing up, but I will gladly take what I can get!! My parents are the very cliched grandparents, doting on their every new skill and showering them with much love and attention and gifts! With grandkids as adorable as those though, I think we all turn into slightly obsessed relatives when they're around! :)
Thursday, January 20, 2011
Wow. Just Wow.
I did have a very depressing entry drafted yesterday, but decided to leave it unposted for now. Since I don't know who reads this blog, sometimes there are just some things that are too close to my heart to put on the internet. Instead, I will re-post the following quote I saw on one of my friend's blogs today. She called it "Something to Chew On." Indeed.
“People do not drift toward holiness. Apart from grace-driven effort, people do not gravitate toward godliness, prayer, obedience to scripture, faith, and delight in the Lord. We drift toward compromise and call it tolerance; we drift toward disobedience and call it freedom; we drift toward superstition and call it faith. We cherish the indiscipline of lost self-control and call it relaxation; we slouch toward prayerlessness and delude ourselves into thinking we have escaped legalism; we slide toward godlessness and convince ourselves we have been liberated.”
- D.A. Carson
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
It's a New Year!
2011 sounds so weird to say, and it's so weird to see how quickly time marches on. It picks up speed as we age, and I don't like how fast the years seem to pass now. I've been in our new house for a year, married for three, out of high school for twelve, living on my own for six, it's crazy! I feel like I should be much more grown-up since I'll hit the big 3-0 this year, but I don't. It makes me wonder if my parents felt like grown-ups at thirty either. I do wonder at what age I'll stop and think to myself that I'm finally a grown-up, that I'm finally an adult making adult decisions. I think my introspection goes to show that I am starting to realize I'm not a kid anymore, but enough on that tangent.
As always, I made New Years Resolutions. I'm not very good at keeping them, but they are normally light and fluffy and silly ones so it doesn't matter. But this year, I have some things I want to change. If changing my personality is like losing weight (it gets harder as you get older), I want to be sure I'm in a good place as I head into my thirties.
1) Lose 10 pounds. I have a pretty small body frame and I know what I should weigh, and I'm not there right now. Too much snacking on the weekends I guess. I already work out and eat healthy during the week, so losing will take some effort.
2) Say 'yes' more. I am not always as spontaneous and accessible and I would like to be. When friends call to do something, I want to just say yes and not come up with a hundred reasons to say no.
3) Swim with the dolphins. I am doing it this year. Hold me to it.
4) Become an extrovert again. Growing up, you could not keep me quiet or keep me from engaging any stranger or friend within a mile radius. I loved talking to people, meeting new people, making friends, etc. I could argue it's because I was in my comfort zone, I had friends and family around at all times that I knew loved me. Since moving to the states, I have become quite the opposite. When I first heard someone hear describe me as introverted, I laughed out loud. But now I realize that's how I am here. If I am around people I know care for me and I feel I can trust them, I can do whatever and say whatever. But I don't feel I have that here, so I keep to myself and have a very hard time talking to new friends. However, I need to make those friends to have friends around me. So I will trust my instinct and step out there more often, make the first move, introduce myself, and trust that my friendliness will yield results. And hopefully without needing liquid courage every time!
5) Believe I am the woman my husband believes I am. He has many things he loves about me and many things he compliments me on, but I cannot see those things. If I learn to really believe even one of those things, I will consider this resolution a success!
5A) On a similar note, I want to continue striving to be a woman he can always be proud of. He brings out the best in me, and I want to continue down that path.
6) Sponsor a less fortunate child. We are incredibly blessed, especially at a relatively young age, and I want to give back in a meaningful way.
7) Read more. We have a chair-and-a-half and a fireplace and I want to cuddle up with a book and make use of it.
8) Finish more house stuff. I have a long list of stuff I'd still like to get done in and around the house, and it's been a year already. Hopefully by the two-year mark I'll be more satisfied.
I think that's all for now. Off the top of my head, I can't think of anything more, at least that I'm willing to share. :) I hope you all made good resolutions and plan to stick with them. Happy 2011 y'all!
As always, I made New Years Resolutions. I'm not very good at keeping them, but they are normally light and fluffy and silly ones so it doesn't matter. But this year, I have some things I want to change. If changing my personality is like losing weight (it gets harder as you get older), I want to be sure I'm in a good place as I head into my thirties.
1) Lose 10 pounds. I have a pretty small body frame and I know what I should weigh, and I'm not there right now. Too much snacking on the weekends I guess. I already work out and eat healthy during the week, so losing will take some effort.
2) Say 'yes' more. I am not always as spontaneous and accessible and I would like to be. When friends call to do something, I want to just say yes and not come up with a hundred reasons to say no.
3) Swim with the dolphins. I am doing it this year. Hold me to it.
4) Become an extrovert again. Growing up, you could not keep me quiet or keep me from engaging any stranger or friend within a mile radius. I loved talking to people, meeting new people, making friends, etc. I could argue it's because I was in my comfort zone, I had friends and family around at all times that I knew loved me. Since moving to the states, I have become quite the opposite. When I first heard someone hear describe me as introverted, I laughed out loud. But now I realize that's how I am here. If I am around people I know care for me and I feel I can trust them, I can do whatever and say whatever. But I don't feel I have that here, so I keep to myself and have a very hard time talking to new friends. However, I need to make those friends to have friends around me. So I will trust my instinct and step out there more often, make the first move, introduce myself, and trust that my friendliness will yield results. And hopefully without needing liquid courage every time!
5) Believe I am the woman my husband believes I am. He has many things he loves about me and many things he compliments me on, but I cannot see those things. If I learn to really believe even one of those things, I will consider this resolution a success!
5A) On a similar note, I want to continue striving to be a woman he can always be proud of. He brings out the best in me, and I want to continue down that path.
6) Sponsor a less fortunate child. We are incredibly blessed, especially at a relatively young age, and I want to give back in a meaningful way.
7) Read more. We have a chair-and-a-half and a fireplace and I want to cuddle up with a book and make use of it.
8) Finish more house stuff. I have a long list of stuff I'd still like to get done in and around the house, and it's been a year already. Hopefully by the two-year mark I'll be more satisfied.
I think that's all for now. Off the top of my head, I can't think of anything more, at least that I'm willing to share. :) I hope you all made good resolutions and plan to stick with them. Happy 2011 y'all!
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