Sad Face

They say when you marry someone, you actually end up marrying their family.  That has proven, of course, to be true.  Luckily for Anthony and I, it has been a pretty positive experience.  Anthony is an only child, born of two only children.  That means he has no siblings, no aunts and uncles, and sadly, all 4 grandparents passed before I got a chance to know them.  Happily, he had his dad's aunt still, who was the most sassy, generous, warm woman you could want to meet.  Though she was on in years, she gladly trekked 11 hours up to our house for our wedding, then trekked up again to see our new house.  She was always in good cheer, easily speaking her mind and loving all up on everyone.  Aunt Frannie was a great addition to my life, and I loved visiting her on special occasions, though I wish the distance had not been so great as to keep us apart for most of the year.

She had been battling cancer for several years, and the pain started to increase this year.  She was a good sport for as long as she could stand it, but unfortunately the disease ravaged her fully and she went Home on Tuesday, 30 November 2010.

Thankfully, there was some warning as her health continued to decline and Anthony and I were able to make a last minute trip down there for Thanksgiving.  As weak as she was and confined to a bed, she was still so grateful to see us and love up on us, still joking around.  It was hard to see her body betraying her with her mind still so sharp, and I have to think she knew why we were there so suddenly.  We got some good moments with her, and we were able to decorate her tree for her one last time.  I should note that Christmas was a grandiose occasion at her house, her tree so burdened with ornaments, there were several to a branch; knick-knacks and wreaths and candles and figurines galore covered every horizontal and vertical surface.  As a huge Christmas season buff myself, I loved seeing her that time of year and had a grand time choosing Christmas trinkets for her as gifts.  As generous as we liked to be with her, she returned it tenfold.  Even my first year as Anthony's wife, her gifts to me just kept on coming!  Then when I thought it was finally too much, she'd top it with a generous cash gift to "make sure I got everything I wanted for Christmas."  So, to set up her tree one last time and spend some holiday moments with her were heart-warming, and will most likely make this Christmas just that much more bittersweet without her.

The day we got that dreadful call, we had been planning to decorate our own house that night.  I rushed home from work to be with Anthony, and we just sat there in silence, wondering what we should do next.  It's hard to just keep on living when something so tragic has happened, but sitting in silence can only last so long.  We decided it would be our last tribute to her, to throw up our tree with a vengeance and pile it with every ornament we owned.  Sadness crept in constantly, especially when unpacking our own holiday trinkets that were gifts from her.  No one can know if the dearly departed are able to look down and witness happy scenes, but we decided she could and would be cheering us on to keep on decorating.  So we did.
Though we are sad we did not get one last Christmas with her, we have found this season to be oddly comforting and we celebrate it more fully for her.

I was so blessed to have known Aunt Frannie and been able to relish in her wonderful grandmotherly spirit.  My life is better for knowing her, and I wish it had been for more than just four years.  She was very clearly a loved woman, as evidenced by the endless stream of visitors and phone calls to her throughout her days.  I know she is a very missed presence on this earth, and I am glad to say I knew her.