Oh. My. Gosh.

No, seriously. I could not be any more tired of this nonsense if I tried. So much back and forth for months is exhausting. Here's the final rundown. Last weekend, I decided to go with my old company because I trusted them and it made me happy. I told them Monday that I would quit on Wednesday and send in the offer letter. A start date was set and I was pumped! Then Wednesday, I told my current boss and thought I'd feel great. But in telling him why I was leaving, it all sounded very stupid to me. He knew I took the job for the challenge and to grow, and he asked if he had let me down. He hadn't. It boiled down to the fact that I was scared to rise to the challenge, and I wanted to run back to the safety of what I had known. The next day, I realized what a moron-a-tron I was being and they quickly realized the decision wasn't final and offered me time to think on it some more. Today, I decided I'm going to stay put and take this career and run with it! The CFO wants me to be his right-hand and I am disappointed that my first instinct was to throw in the towel. Our next hire will report directly to me, I will be taking over our exiting controller's responsibilities, and I get to tell him if any of my current tasks bore me (good-bye, collection calls!). Did I mention I also make more?!
The thing that still brings tears to my eyes is my love of most of the people at my last job and the very social atmosphere we had there. I can never go back now (I really kinda messed with their heads) and that makes me incredibly sad. It was a great, great chapter in my life and set me up for my current path and that will always mean a lot to me. I had a lot of really good friends there and I will always miss them. The finality of it really, really bums me out. I just hope I can seriously beef up my resume and find another company like the one I left. But running scared is no way to live, and I'm thoroughly embarrassed that it took me 6 months to realize what I could do here. Sorry to my husband and mom for listening to me ramble for hours about the pros and cons, but I'm done now. I'm gonna bring my a-game and rock their world and be happy about it!