So, anyone that knows me knows I've been having j-o-b troubles for awhile. I started my first one right out of college and was lucky enough to land a wicked sweet gig. For the most part, I loved what I did, I adored my bosses, I got along with my coworkers...it was awesome and I knew it and appreciated it. However, a couple years in the controller left and was replaced from inside by someone who has no idea how to be a good leader. Morale suffered as a result, but it was still tolerable. Then they hired a new person who right away decided she didn't like me and whined about it to people, with no kind of reason or evidence to back her up. So, turns out she can't really do her job and decides to pin the problem on me. for no reason. despite the fact that her job had nothing. to. do. with. me. Anyway, the new controller heard enough complaints from her and decided to "have a talk with me" despite not knowing my side of the story. Not that there was really one, other than this girl didn't like me. So, I tell things how I see them and the controller apologizes for not getting her facts right, yada yada yada. Logically, I assumed the problem was mostly behind us and life would continue. But it wasn't. Next thing I know we're having meeting after meeting with this "issue" going higher up the food chain. It made no sense - they were trying to create an artificial conflict out of "colleague communication" and pin it on me when the problem was this chick couldn't do her job and complained about me, and somehow she managed to connect those dots and have people buy into it. My boss knew the problem but couldn't get past the controller either. Grr.
So, I started looking for a new job and found one that seemed like a really great career opportunity. I would be making more, working directly for the CFO, be the next in charge after him, learn a lot of high-level stuff, etc. I reminded him in the interview that I didn't have an accounting degree, but he thought I was smart enough that it wouldn't matter. Well, turns out he's not as nice as he seemed, there are politics and wicked bad in-fighting galore, people are trying to sabotage us (because we're the new headquarters and replaced some people)...it's just pretty much all bad. And I'm not really learning anything new so much as being asked to do things I don't know how to do and not getting any guidance or direction. That makes for very stressful days because I don't know what I'm doing or what's expected of me. The part of my job I can do is collection calls...not what I signed up for. And the boss man couldn't really help me if I told him my troubles. He can't stop the politics or the sabotage, and there's a level between us that makes it so he can't really help me with my job and I can't ask for assistance with the things he's asking me to do. I started looking for a new job almost as soon as I started.
The trouble is in this economy with my degree in the wrong thing, I can't get anyone to look twice at me. I can't just quit and go back to school because we're saving for a house and I'm not sure I want to stay in accounting forever anyway. That leaves staying here or going back. Staying here is pretty much unacceptable because of it's toll on my mental health and the toll it's taking on the other areas of my life (my poor husband!). That leaves going back, assuming they'd even have me (they do have a history of taking people back and it happens a lot).
I am meeting my former boss tomorrow to get her opinion as a friend and mentor. I prepared a list of pros and cons to make sure I know exactly what I'm getting back into. The list is overwhelmingly pros, and to be honest the biggest con is a pride thing. I left to make a point, and while I can tolerate some bad-ness for the job, my point was that I was being treated highly unfairly. Oh, and yes, the CFO talked to me before I left about his big plans for me and how valued I was on his team and how I had some of the most potential he'd ever seen in someone so young. I knew all that and appreciated hearing it again, but the fact that they would crucify me instead of cop to hiring a petty idiot didn't sit well with me at all.
So the pros of trying to go back are I know the job, I mostly like my coworkers, they have great benefits, they think I'm brilliant and give me a lot of great opportunities and keep promoting me (with raises!), business is booming, I love the president and trust his direction, they trust my views and let me explore new ways of doing things, and I had a great office.
The cons are the controller is really bringing down morale and a lot of people are unhappy and complaining, the stupid chick is still there, that would put only one job on my resume for my formative career years, I could not really leave again soon even if I changed my mind, I might be scared to try to leave again because of my current experience, and it backs up their belief that they are still the best place to work even though they really have some issues that need to be addressed.
So that's my issue. I have talked my husband and parents to death on the point, but still don't feel confident either way. I cannot stay here, period. It is literally destroying my life and messing with my head in a bad way. In this economy, I'm not sure I can wait it out while I try to find something else. And if I found something else and hated it too, then I'm really stuck because two super short jobs would look bad on my resume. So, it really comes down to me groveling for my job back. But all the same problems are still there that drove me to pack up the first time.
If anybody has any thoughts/ insight/ advice, please share - it might be something I hadn't yet considered. Anyone else been in a similar pickle? HELP!!!
(Wow, that got long!! For those still reading, I apologize!)
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Hey Amanda - So sorry to hear about all your job troubles... ugh! It looks like you should go back to your old job. With mostly pros you really can't go wrong, and if the company is doing well still in this type of economy at least you have the safety of liking and knowing you'll be able to keep it! Perhaps if you decide to go back you can agree with your old boss to work out the issues with this other chick who doesn't like you? I'm sure something could be done about it. If you express your concerns up front maybe they'll make more of a concerted effort to make things run smoother? Have you tried confronting this other chick in a professional way about the situation? Maybe if you get on her side then it really will be the perfect job. It sounds like she may have been threatened by you. Bottom line, you're miserable and you need a change. If you go back and stick it out I think you'll be OK. It's impossible to have a perfect resume but if you're not learning anything, I think that's a pretty good reason to leave and have the stint recorded. Any employer would respect your decision to leave! Anyway, hope this helps!!! Good luck!
ReplyDeleteWell, my first advice would, of course be to pray about it. I'm sure that you have been doing that. If you know what God is leading you to do, then do what you feel him leading you to do and make that step of faith. It will be hard to do, but in the end, you know that is really the best and only option (for success). If there any ethical issues at any of these places, I would highly consider that and put that at the top of the list. I would not advise staying at a place were I had to sacrifice my integrity on a daily basis. Our ultimate boss is God and we have to make sure the job we are doing are aligned with his Word and character. I know - easier said than done.
ReplyDeleteThis is a very difficult decision that you have to make and I can see why it's driving you nuts (and probably your husband too!). There are so many different things that could happen, I can see how everything just leads back to another.
From what you have written, it seems pretty clear that you really don't want to keep your current job. It seems to me that you really want to take back your old job given all the circumstances. I would probably lean that way myself, because if you are as miserable as your current job, it would be worth swallowing your pride and perhaps finding a way to be professional and cordial with this girl.
Should you go this route, my advice is to be 100% clear about your boundaries - what you are willing to do and what you aren't willing to do. I would also suggest seeing if they could give you a new job title and revamp your job description - this would probably help greatly with the adjustment back into the office - you would be coming back with more of a stated purpose and would seem less like to your other co-workers that you couldn't make it work anywhere else. Be clear as to what you role is going to be in the company. I would make out a list of what circumstances would be acceptable to you and be sure to communicate that to your boss. If they aren't willing to accommodate you and your requests, assuming of course that you are being reasonable in your request, then I would not go back. I do think if you make the decision to go back, you are going to have to stick it out and live with whatever the consequences of your decision are going to be. By having the list of what you want and being clear about what your boundaries are, I think will help ensure the smoothest return possible and that it won't have many negative consequences. Hopefully, if you went back, it would give you an opportunity to start fresh with this girl - maybe you have learned lessons from already dealing with her and know how to be guarded and protect yourself better - so that will also help.
I also would not put too much thought into how the decision will affect your resume. I do understand why you feel that is important, but should neither place work out there always a way to explain it. You are also not required to list every job on your resume.
So, I guess in sum what I am saying is that it seems like your best option is to go back to your former job if both of you can agree on what the job expectations are going to be. If you can't do that, I would just stick with current job and keep on looking. Our God is all-mighty and powerful, he will find an opportunity that will work for you. Also, feel free to send an e-mail anytime if there is something you need help there. If I don't know the answer, I have people I can ask who will know the answer.
Remember, it is Him who we ultimately work for. Sometimes I have to tell myself that daily. It makes it easier to do the things I know I need to do and it keeps my focus on doing God's work and not to get caught up in the drama of the office. Again, easier said then done!
Anyways, I hope that helps some. I know this is a very tough decision. Good Luck! I'll be interested to see how this all works out for you.